I remember being held high in the air, Father Donovan fishing a golf ball from the suer with a coat hanger, our beater of a station wagon, the neighbor Brian and running from beebees.....I remember Cub Scouts and a clothing drive and knowing Grandpa had died...I remember the railing and the stairs to our upstairs bedroom that stretched the length of the house and I remember the rectangle carpet squares that covered the room sometime after Terri got stitches in her chin from sliding on a pillow down the tile..I remember the Christmas Tree parties and the maple tree in the front yard and shaking flashlights to make a strobe...I remember walking dad his last few blocks home while he walked his bicycle, the neighbors grandchildren and their snakes and the creek that connected us with everyone in our neighborhood...I remember Armstrong's popcorn balls, a real walk to school, sledding at recess...I remember wrestling and losing and winning and feeling something in my bones...I remember a big sparkly icon we called God reigning above the altar, my First Communion, my First Confession and karate in the front yard with my cousins...I remember the smell of chlorine at the Y, being buzzed through the door, mom waiting and thinking I might drown...I remember mowing lawns and eating lick-a-sticks and catamarans on skateboards down the church hill...I remember Big Macs for helping Sister Judy, flag football in the rain, discovering love (puppy and otherwise)...I remember seeing Grease in the theatre, pitching nickels in the bathroom, looking for someone to sit with at the football game...I remember the first taste of beer, the long buzzes and short hangovers, smoking Marboro Reds and walking the streets in summer...I remember learning to drive, the terrible drunk night, the days after and knowing I'd survive...I remember long days of golf as a kid, as a teenager, as a man-never long enough those days- one solid drive and HEAVEN- really!...I remember Jesus and Christ-like (ness) and Merton and Berrigan and mass in my parents house, mass in a gymnasium in El Passo, mass at the Worker, mass during lunch break, mass for the funerals- my family, my friends....I remember Doobie Brothers and Rod Stewartand John falling asleep in his breakfast and mass at his wedding and mass at Jimmy's wedding where we posed as a full football squad for the wedding picture...I remember late nights and endless nights and wondering and wishing and trying (to be loved)..I remember roads- gravel and paved- leading and descending on foot, holding hands, on a motorcyle; tears blown dry to my face, roads to big houses, from big farms, to parties, from cemeteries, roads and highways....I remember spinning through the snow and ice while my dad was dying and my uncle was dead, hiding and afraid, afraid of Death like never before...I remember meals, big and small, hot and cold, lively and mundane, breaking bread under a shelter where bees begged for our sandwiches somewhere near Washington DC on a family vacation...I remember breaking bread at the Brown Bottle for Homecoming, breaking bread at our huge family gatherings, breaking bread with my wife, my wonderful wife, my sweet giving wife and her family here, in Mexico, here again and again...I remember proposing in the parking lot ourside of Sears...I remember finding out...guessing then knowing that SHE would be ours...holding her the first time and handing her to Amada, naming her after my mom, all of the first times we shared her with those we love who love us...I remember her on my knee watching the Phillies, her little hands and feet, her first sprinting steps, her wiggling and dancing in her crib...and NOW wiggling and dancing and singing everywhere with everyone...and soooo much more! I don't want to forget EVER!
