She is ALIVE

I guess I could be annoyed with her running up and down the hall, dragging her popcorn vacuum and screaming at the top of her lungs. Instead, I continue to be amazed at the depth of her character and how alive she is in each moment. Her sadness and disappointment fall out on a mat before her when she approaches in such a state. Her laughter is a shrill that calls me to join in. Her anger comes from deep within (usually) and her joy is this, this all out parade of madness that celebrates her pure satisfaction with being here. God I love her! OK, twenty minutes borders on annoying, but I still love her.

Niecalicious!

Two of the sweetest girls I know are text-crazy reality TV addicts! Ugggghhhh! I have to watch my nieces go through this. I tried to be the "In my day, we actually talked to people and watched real entertainment" guy. Of course that fell like a brick! We spend the weekend with them at our house and we hardly engage with them. You know, when they were interested in painting their fingernails, I went along. They could paint mine too. I watched more Hannah Montana than I care to admit. I can talk iCarly with the best of them. But, man, do I have to watch Jerseylicious to join the party? And Boys! It's nonstop. There are so many boys and they are sooooooo hot! Gag me! But I think I will have to suck it up and listen. I am genuinely interested and I do want them to be happy. I am just worried they will be too busy talking and texting about their happiness to actually experience it. Peace Out!

Commentary...or not

I am tempted to comment on the Tuscon shootings. (Why should I be the only one to be silent?) Horrible!

Is there more to say? Is there blame? A lesson to learn? A warning for us to make the bars even stronger and the glass even thicker behind our castle walls? It's bad. It's ugly. It's real and so is the hate and the violence all over our world.

Live! Live and love and do what we should have been doing before the shootings. Try to have a few less enemies; less reasons to hate and distance others. Try to make a few more friends; strangers who we welcome into our hearts. I've said enough.

Everyone is Beautiful!

There have been a few moments like the one I had today. It was genuine, touching, surreal. I was in Walmart (of all places) and suddenly EVERYONE was beautiful. There is no attraction or lust that can match this feeling. I am rarely clear enough to host such a moment and I don't know why it happened today. I was picking up a cake and was soaring from the kindness of the bakery woman. She wasn't sugary sweet. She was just sincere and seemed like she wanted to help me, almost like she was waiting for me to ask. As I turned from her and walked through the produce, the children in grocery carts and the man in the flannel shirt and the mother rushing through with her teenage son...they all wooed me! I wanted to tell them all that I knew we were connected. I wanted to just stay and see who else walked by.

I call it a "Merton" moment (Google Thomas Merton's Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander). He says it better than I ever could. But the point is I felt it. I experienced it. It has been so long! I came home and treasured the rest of the night with my family. I watched my wife enjoy her birthday and my daughter enjoy the cake. I felt playful and real and ready. God is with us!

My Hero

I have many interests in my life. I like to play and watch golf. I like a good movie. I have enjoyed many good books. But my hero is neither a golfer nor an actor nor a writer. My hero is a grandmother. She is a church lady. She is physically less strong than she once was, but she could move mountains with the strength she has inside.

My hero is my mother.

A mother who (with my father)chose to adopt four children. She also mothered pregnant teenagers who needed support, a foster child with severe psychological challenges and a foreign exchange student who, until her death, still called my mother "mom". After the tragic murder of my good friend, my mother was the one who spoke the only sane words I could digest: "God is angry too", she said. She put my feelings to words when my daughter was born: "You never imagined you could love anyone so much, did you?".

As her adopted children entered various stages of adulthood, she supported us as we sought out our birth mothers, genuinely excited about our discoveries and the extension of our love to those who gave us life.

My mother loved and lost two husbands. She weathered the storm of grief while gathering in the other loved ones. She spoke and acted with such wisdom through her pain.

My mother has challenged laws and leaders. She stood up to teachers she thought were less helpful than they could have been and to priests who could have been more priestly.

Through it all, she has remained a woman of faith. She has taken care of herself while being as selfless as anyone I have ever known. She keeps her children under her moral umbrella, guiding us silently with her saintly examples. Her love gets stronger and reaches further as we extend our family and move in different directions. We are always remembered. Well Mom, you are remembered as well and will stay in my heart always.

The Princess and the Monster

"Daddy, tell me a story about the princess and the monster." My daughter Valeria requests this a few times a day, sometimes a dozen! One thing I have learned; there are at least a few hundred ways to tame a monster. I won't ever let the monster eat Valeria (she's the princess of course.) They usually end up eating something sweet and tasty together. Maybe there's a lesson in the stories. Maybe the lesson is for her, but I know I am benefitting. I rarely refuse her. Sometimes I take time from a ballgame or surfing the web. The story reminds me that she comes first. I know the story is her "in". She knows the story is likely to bring me to her, no matter how far apart she feels we are in that moment. The story keeps our creative juices flowing too. If I'm stumped, I'll alert her that it's her turn and she spins a tale that makes her powerful, demanding the monster get out from under the bed where he's been bumping around. Who knows? There may be a book in this for us.

I am found in LOST

I am having a unique entertainment experience. I have recently started viewing the TV series "Lost". While I frequently enjoy getting myself lost in television programs, in this case I have found a heartwarming life-lesson that does not make me want to go away as a person. It is hard to find a TV drama that is not in some form dualistic; pitting good guy against bad guy with a hero who predictably prevails in the end. Each episode of lost unveils the history and humanity of its characters. I'm sure it is possible individuals will emerge as clear heroes and villians as I get past the first season, but I will be disappointed if this is the case. I am encouraged to believe, as I exit the TV room, that people are more complex than what I see on the surface and I might even take a stab at falling in love with a few more of God's children.