FEAR

There was a moment yesterday, as I walked from my car to a site where I visit one of the participants I work with, that I felt uncomfortable (to say the least.) I watched a man walk from a corner where I know drugs are sold swiftly toward me. In the end, he was walking to somewhere else and not toward me at all. But fear overtook me, briefly. I have had this experience before. The moment was brief because I knew that most times my fear is unfounded. I also know my friends and my cousin were murdered unexpectedly. After my good friend died, 20-some years ago, I made my way into the heart of the city, maybe to show I was not afraid. Not too long after another friend was murdered, I fled to the countryside. I never proved  or escaped anything. I've lived in "bad" neighborhoods and been threatened with violence more than a few times over these many years and, on a good day, I remember that I am a vessel of love. On a bad day, I imagine the worst. But, honestly, there is nothing worse than believing another person wants to harm you (even if they do.) I dig deep to see the goodness in others. I know for sure there have been times that I have diffused violence by demonstrating my belief (at minimum my hope) in someone's goodness. I like to profess non-violence on a larger scale, but I have to profess it locally and constantly if I really believe it is the way, God's way.