Beyond Imagination

"Did you ever imagine you could love anyone so much?" These were the words of your Grandma Craig when you were born, Valeria. This was a question that was easily answered. No. I never could have imagined. Even now, as you sit pouting in your bed, angry because you don't think I understand you...even now, it is hard to imagine how I am capable of loving you this much.

I have done some selfish things in my life and I once wondered if I was big enough to ever give my love unselfishly. You exist because I am and I will never stop loving you. I will disagree with you and look at you side-eyed and punish you when I feel there is no other way to teach you. I will be wrong and I will try to own up to mistakes as we go. I will forget things and get preoccupied with things not near as important as you are. But I promise I will do my best. You are in the front of my mind no matter where I am. There is not a day that I don't tell a story about you or brag about you or just gleam with pride and adoration as I show off your picture.

I hope that, by the time you read this, your memories give weight to what I'm saying here. I have big hopes for you. I worry sometimes, but not near as much as I hope. I hope you know you are loved, especially at the lowest and hardest times in your life. I hope you are held in esteem at the things that you love to do and in the company you choose to be with. I hope you remember how good you are even when others forget or don't know. Finally, I hope that your goodness spreads like wildfire to those around you and that you will know God's love as you give your heart to a hungry world.

You are my angel. Your small hand in mine so many times a day. Your sweet eyes that love me back  even when I don't feel loveable. And your tears and rage and resistance. All part of the moments that make me feel alive. I am with you- always.